Different Kinds of Beauty...

Maybe about a week and a half-ish PT Ethan asked me if he could "write something."

He and his cousins had been into making lists of everyone they knew, so I figured that was what he wanted to do.

I gave him my legal pad I'd been using for inventory and a pencil and he sat down at the kitchen island and lost himself in thought.

I busied myself around the house, until he asked (without looking up), "Mom....how do you spell 'tornado'?"

I actually had to swallow hard and tell my stomach to stop flipping over before I could answer him.

He wrote for about 20 minutes, pausing every now and then to ask me how to spell something, then walked over to me with the big yellow pad and asked me to read it out loud.

(I wish  I had picture-posting-capabilities right now...because his beautiful childish handwriting captures his story so much better then the computer....but hopefully that will come in time, too.)

Here is what he wrote:

I was in a car when the tornado happened.
I was in my Uncle Franks car.
The tornado broke my house it was really scary!
Something blew and hit the glass and the glass hit me on the head.
I mis my house but I got a new one and i like it and im glad that everybodys safe.


Today I got a beautiful message from a dear friend of mine on facebook.  She shared a verse that had been on her heart to give to me.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord,
thoughts of peace and not of evil,
to give you a future and a hope.


Aren't both of these beautiful? 
So different (but not so different)  from each other....but so touchingly wonderfully beautiful?

Man.......
I know I've said it before, but I think it bears repeating.

I am unbelievably blessed.

Keep on Climbing.....

I'm back....in a manner of speaking.

This weekend we ran away.
All 5 of us.

RH and I realized that we pretty much hadn't REALLY seen our kids for 5 weeks.
Sure, we'd been around....

But in reality we were gone on vacation for the week PT*...
Then we came back and had that little EF-5 incident...
Then we spent a week digging through and packing up our lives while the kids were shuffled from person to person....
Then we spent a week trying to find parts of our lives while the kids were shuffled from place to place....
Then we spent a week throwing away moldy parts of our lives and trying to move into a new home with mold-free stuff while the kids were shuffled from here to there...

(And I realize that only makes 3 official weeks....but to be honest..I think I literally lost a week in there somewhere!)

Ethan has been up with nightmares and random complaints almost every night.

Carolyn has told the bbsitters that she no longer has to listen to them (although there is a very distinct possibility that her....a-hem...defiance has nothing to do with our temporarily crazy lifestyle and more to do with her....a-hem...independent personality)...

Bennett has been on a hard-core-won't -leave-the-house-organize-everything-in-his-vicinity streak.

It was time for some JUST US-ness.

So we went to Kansas City, left our "pick-up-sticks" lifestyle behind, and just hung-out.

We went to T-Rex Cafe, stuffed ourselves, and let them all Build-a-Dino.
We went to Oceans of Fun and tried to conquer every water slide there.
We went to PF Changs and inhaled 2 orders of lettuce wraps AT THE KIDS' REQUEST!!!!
We went to Barnes and Nobel and let the kids pick whatever they wanted.
We pushed let the kids jump into the fountain outside the InterContinental Hotel.
We let the kids order off of the adult menu.
We spent way too much of our time watched street performers and let the kids put coins in each of their "boxes".
We ordered ridiculous amounts of room service (which was FREE since they forgot to clean our room!) (which I'd normally be grumpy about but the room STILL looked better than my new house!) and let the kids eat in bed and watch Shrek.
We got frozen custard after already eating dessert.

And the kids smiled.
And we smiled.
And the kids laughed.
And so did we.
And we all slept.
Hard.

So we're back.  It's 7:45 in the morning, and the kids are STILL sleeping.  I have at least 27 more posts I need to add to this blog....but I think I'll wait till later.

Now...I'm going to breathe a little bit.
I'm going to slow down, and have a fifth second cup of coffee.
I'm going to make a list instead of rushing around and forgetting what I need to do.

Yes....there is still a lot of mountain left to climb in this weird journey to "new normal".....
But now I think that I can find some firm footing on my way up.

And I just might take some coffee to go.



(*PT= post-tornado)

Another Great Word...

Start with a side note:  Bennett is reading The Hobbit and asked me what "flummoxed" meant. 
I replied, "Confused.  Scattered.  Frazzled by circumstances around yourself."
Good word for now, don't you think?

Well....I went by the dry cleaners to drop an entire car load a little bit of stuff off for some serious cleaning. 

This was by no means my first trip to my wonderful cleaners. 

I had already dropped off many loads of random things that I thought might be "save-able"  (Including Carolyn's giant pink stuffed bunny that she LOVES but was really really wet...).

As you might imagine, the cleaners is a little backed up right now, and the turn around time for most of the stuff is a few weeks. 

(Really not a problem when you don't have any beds to put all of those comforters back on anyway!)

So when I deposited my "last" load of stuff (I keep telling them it's my "last" load, then I keep coming in with more car loads) I was surprised when they told me I had something to pick up.

The lady brought me out a beautifully hung wrapped-super-nicely package containing:
**one ratty red hand towel
**one ratty red bath towel
**one random green washcloth
**one Superman pillow sham
**one adult size blue snuggy

Flummoxed.
Good time for that word.
How did that stuff get here?
Why do I want that stuff?
What in the heck am I supposed to do with that stuff?

"That will be.....$14.50," she cheerfully exclaimed.  "Glad we could get it cleaned up for you!"

So...this could be how she speaks to everyone, OR....I look haggard and desperate and flummoxed enough to be eagerly anticipating the return of my snuggy.

Flummoxed, I think.

But....I just might use that darn snuggy tonight.

If You Feel Led to Come Here and Help....

Now THIS was a wonderfully useful post I found on facebook.  Really really great tips for those who want to come (or are already here) and help get this city back on it's feet.

Check out this link:  Tips for Volunteers...
And thank for being willing to help!

Listening....

Three weeks ago this morning I sat on a couch in my sil's house with my friend Melanie (at 4 in the morning, to be specific) and tried to make some sense of what had just happened to my world. 

It was a difficult task.

We hadn't slept at all, the noise of helicopters flying over was constant, my newly-turned-11 year old was sleeping on the floor with the dog in front of us, and lots of sirens were going off outside of the house.

So we gave up trying to figure things out and headed to Wal-Mart at 5:40 to buy water because apparently ours was no longer safe to drink.

To be honest, that "couch time" is one of the very few solid memories I have of that week.  I hope to spend some time at the computer THIS week and figure out where those 7 days went. 
It feels important to me to know when I first went back to the house, who was with me, who came over, and what we found....I am not sure WHY this matters....but I really don't like the idea that I LOST those minutes and hours. 
Maybe because we've lost so many other things?  Maybe that's why I care where that time went? 
Who knows....but I'd like to try and find it.

In the midst of all that "fuzziness"....there are a few things that remain clear.
This is the clearest of them all....

On Monday evening we moved the 5 of us (plus dog, chinchillas, guinea pig and hermit crab) into my mother's house.  She was in Atlanta during the storm and wasn't due back until mid-week.

After a few hours of sleep (hope to get that "sleeping" thing back some day...) I came downstairs Tuesday morning around 5am. 

Barrett had left to check on his office, and the kids were all sacked out in my mom's spare bedroom. 

I was wide awake, and decided to track down a bible and spend some time with God.

Barrett's was laying on the kitchen table (apparently he had the same thought as me), so I put it in my lap as I pulled up a stool to the island.
I wanted to find something in that bible about gratefulness...something that would touch on my thankfulness.  I know that Psalms is full of wonderful poems and descriptions...but I must admit that I'm not too familiar with that book of the bible.

So, with the bible in my lap I prayed that God would show me the right thing to read that morning.

Now....I've done a lot of praying in my life.  I've felt God's presence in BIG and small ways....I know that He has orchestrated many things for me....I've seen His work and His answers...and I KNOW that He's gently (and not so gently) led me in specific directions.
But...I've never actually audibly heard Him.

I did that morning.

"116."

I admit I thought I was hearing things in my too-tired-to-properly-function brain...but I turned to Psalm 116 and began to read.

When I was done, I climbed off of the stool, tears pouring down my face, and got down on my knees to thank my God.

     Psalm 116: 1-9
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord:
"O lord, save me!"

The Lord is gracious and righteous,
our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he
saved me.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.

For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death,
my ears from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the Lord
in the land of the living....

Word of the Day.....

I have a new term to be added to the dictionary.

Tornado Puke:  the collection of debris left by an EF-5 tornado after it attacks a city; may include shingles, dry-wall, glass, insulation, and various bits of unidentifiable things;  often found on cars, tall grass, lots where large solid structures once stood, and inside of drawers and trunks that were closed before and after the storm and should have been airtight.  This substance has a very distinct odor consisting of a combination of wet dry-wall, mold, and rot.  Bits of this substance may be found to linger even after repeated attempts to wash it away.  Caution should be used when attempting to remove this material; preferred methods include q-tips, clorox wipes, towels, brooms, and bulldozers.


Could somebody please call Mr. Webster in their spare time and make sure this makes the 2012 edition?
Thanks.

Kim's Story

The following is my sister-in-law Kim's story of what happend two weeks ago.....I can't read it without crying....but they are tears of fear mixed with tears of gratefulness.....



Sunday, May 22^nd , 2011, a date I will never, ever forget. I have been meaning to take the time to sit down and recount that evening’s events, putting it into writing, so here goes…

That Sunday started out like any other Sunday. 
We went to church and after church my sister-in-law, Shannon, and I switched kids around as we often do.  We had my nephew’s 11^th birthday party that evening and decided that all 4 boys would go home with her,  and Spencer and I would take Carolyn and Scarlett home with us. So we went our separate ways and had plans to meet up at the birthday party. The party was originally planned for 5 o’clock at my in-laws pool, but we were more than likely changing it to Shannon and Barrett’s house because it was forecasted to rain later that evening. Shannon called later to tell me that Barrett was bringing the 4 boys over to our in-law’s house to swim. She also told me the party was moved to 5:30 since it was just going to be at her house instead of the pool now. So the boys went swimming at their grandparents and we just planned to meet up at Shannon and Barrett’s for the party later on.

Later that afternoon I ride my bike up to the south YMCA which is only about 4 miles from my house. I leave the Y around 4:30 so I will have time to shower and get over to the birthday party. Our Y is located approx. ½ mile south of the St. John’s Hospital, on 32^nd Street. Little did I realize that the bike ride to and from the Y is the last one I will be taking for weeks, if not months! I ride right by the hospital and through tons of housing that will be leveled within a little over an hour of me leaving the Y.

I get home and take a quick shower and get ready to head to Barrett and Shannon’s house. We are all ready to go around 5:15 when I am listening to the local radio station in my bathroom. They are talking about bad storms to our west and the possibility of some high winds, hail and a possible tornado spotted near Carl Junction (NW of us). I call Shannon and tell her that storms are moving into the area and we will head that way when they pass over. 

Around 5:40 Spencer’s Uncle Frank calls to see if we have left the house (his aunt and uncle live just down the road from us). I told him we were waiting out the storm and were leaving when it cleared up a little. He said it was horrible and to stay put and then we were cut off. I couldn’t believe he was out in the storm because it was getting so dark, windy and starting to hail. So we wait it out and even watch the storm roll in from an open garage door.

The darkness was like nothing I have ever seen with a storm, but never did Spencer and I realize what was behind that darkness. We are just waiting for the skies to lighten a little so we could head to the party. 

We had NO clue there was a tornado that had touched down in Joplin until my mom texted me a little after 6…these are the texts that went back and forth between the two of us for the next hour and a half..

MOM: let me know if you guys are okay. i know a tornado hit parts of Joplin. i am worried about you guys (6:07)

ME: didn't know an actual tornado hit parts...we have no working television. we are totally fine. just waiting it out to head to shannon's for bennetts bday party. (6:08)

MOM: i heard damage near 32nd and shifferdecker and st. johns hosp hit as well as some apartment complexes. so relieved about you guys. (6:11)

ME: the boys are at shannons...can't get ahold of them...so bad damage over there?? call my cell if you can... (6:12)

MOM: can't get thru when i try to call you but they said 22nd and black cat road and mentioned 32nd and shifferdecker. try to text shannon let me know okay? (6:15)

ME: driving to shannons bc we still can't get a hold of anyone...damage and emergency vehicles all over. guess rangeline is pretty bad. (6:32)

MOM: that's what we heard please let me know anything as soon as you can we love you and be careful (6:35)

MOM: are you home yet (6:57)

MOM: do you have any news yet? the kids are okay right? i am worried... (7:34)

So needless to say, it was the LONGEST hour and a half of my life! We left the house as soon as we could get the girls in the car and headed to their neighborhood (approx. 5 miles from our house). People were just starting to get out after the storm, so it was kind of eerie driving across town. We came to the intersection of 26^th and Shifferdecker, just ¼ mile from the entrance to their neighborhood. The scene at that point is nauseating …

Big houses to our right are half gone/destroyed and smaller homes and a neighborhood to our left is completely leveled. We can’t go straight or take a right onto 26^th because of downed trees, poles and power lines. We are stuck. The girls are chipper and totally unaware in the back seat; their giggling and chatter making me even more sick to my stomach. I started shaking and wanted to cry so hard, but tears wouldn’t even come, my body didn’t know how to respond. Too many emotions…too many fears…

Spencer jumps out of the car and yells at me to take the girls back home and he will call me (which we have already realized is impossible since we cannot make or receive calls at this point).
It took all that I had to turn around and head back to the neighborhood.
I wanted to jump out and run towards them with Spencer, but I knew I couldn’t because I had the girls.
I was finally able to get through to my father-in-law, Steve, who was still back at his house in our neighborhood. I was becoming more and more upset (probably better defined as “hysterical”) and I do believe he yelled at me several times…not that I cared as he was 5 miles away and unable to see what I was seeing from this intersection. I turned around and kept him on the phone and drove home, shaking all over and on the verge of getting sick at any moment. Spencer beeped in and I clicked over to hear him say something about Harry and I could hear Shannon say something and then Spencer said “Frank has the boys” and then we were cut off.
He followed up with a text saying  “everyone is okay”. I started to calm down and told the girls no more talking as we drove back across town. I tried and tried to keep calling my mom and could never get through, lines were jammed and I was still shaking so much I had a hard time just dialing numbers. 

I get to my father-in-laws house and feel somewhat relieved for just a moment…

I tell Steve that Frank has the boys and he says he knew Frank had Wyatt and Ethan.

I am puzzled because I assumed Frank had my boys when Spencer told me that he had “the boys”.
Steve then goes onto tell me that Frank and Aunt Sana took Wyatt and Ethan after they swam earlier that afternoon and he was trying to figure out where Frank was. He was under the impression that they never left his house to go to the party and was somewhere else. I tell him that Frank called me at 5:40 as he was driving into the storm and I had no idea he had Wyatt and Ethan with him at that time! At this point I am making my own conclusions and am certain that when Spencer told me Frank had the boys, he was meaning Wyatt and Ethan and that quite possibly they never made it out to Shannons!

I am in complete panic and trying not to let my mind go there, but as I rehash what we drove up to at 26^th and Shifferdecker, I am anything but positive.

Steve starts sensing this and is making up tons of stuff to make me think otherwise, but I can’t help it and the uncertainty, coupled with not being able to get ahold of ANYONE over on that side of town is killing me!

Finally Steve and I decide to take the girls to a friend’s house in the neighborhood and go back across town. Just as we are passing by our house my friend Melanie pulls up and I jump out to leave the girls with her.

She is taking them inside the house when Uncle Frank comes around the corner with my two boys, Susan and Sana.

I lose it and just start crying because up until that point I wasn’t sure if Wyatt, Ethan, Frank or Sana were even in my life anymore!

But there they are, Wyatt running into my arms and not a scratch on him.
Susan is holding Harry as his shoes are lost somewhere in what was left of my sister-in-law’s house.
He rode out the tornado in their basement, in the arms of Susan and Beth, a family friend who was there for the party that evening as well. Harry was really shook up and upset as he managed to survive an F5 tornado without the comfort of either of his parents. He hugged my neck so tight and wouldn’t let me set him down for quite a while.

As for Wyatt, it is at this point in the evening that I discover how truly gracious God was to us that fateful evening. I must have talked to Frank just moments before he ran off the road that evening to get away from the falling trees, poles and power lines, calmly telling the boys to “take a rest” and lie down in the floorboard. He was so close to Shannon’s neighborhood, but Frank, Sana, Wyatt and Ethan rode the tornado out in his old brown truck…at that unforgettable intersection of 26^th and Shifferdecker.

How they drove away from that with only a minor cut to Ethan’s head (from a broken window in the truck), and a banged up truck, is truly the workings of our God. He has bigger plans for those 4 people in that truck that evening.

So many lives were forever changed in a matter of moments, so many lives lost and injured. Frank drove into Shannon and Barrett’s neighborhood by driving over debris, trees, etc. until he arrived at Shannon’s house where that whole family had emerged from the basement and were prayerfully waiting their arrival.

Shannon had known how close he was and had left the garage door open for them to drive up into and make it into the house. She had tried to wait it out but it was too late and she had to run to the basement and be with everyone else.

She lost it and so did Wyatt and Ethan when Frank and Sana arrived at Shannon’s house after the tornado. The boys sobbed and sobbed and Frank had no expression, gray in color. Sana commented several times on how well the boys did and kept telling Shannon that they were great, everyone was okay.

So many miracles and so many reasons to be thankful for that evening. Your house and your “stuff” can always be replaced. Your family and your friends cannot. We were amazingly lucky that evening and God had his hands over every one of us. We are forever changed, and for the better.

I will never forget those moments of not knowing and that sickening feeling of “what if”. I am just so very thankful everyday for every moment that I have with my children and family because we don’t know what the next day will bring. God is so good!