Today my kids saw a "Now Hiring" sign at Braum's.
They asked me if I would take the job so they could have free ice cream.
I asked them who would take care of them while I was working….and they said, "Dad."
"Do you think you'd ever have clean underwear if Dad was taking care of you every day?"
They said that NOT ONLY would they have clean underwear…
but that he would cook food for them
(especially bacon which he makes awesomely and they can eat it but they can't eat mine it's so bad)
and get stuff out of the freezer for them
and take them places
and clean stuff
and make them do homework but not so strictly and not right after school.
So go on and take the job, mom.
When I told my RH all of this (in front of kids) he laughed and agreed.
Said he would do a great job.
So I'll check if they're still hiring, I guess.
Flash forward to 9:00.
I've just come home from picking up my eldest from Wyldlife.
RH tells me that Carolyn threw up.
On her carpet.
And he said he just looked at it….and didn't know where to begin.
(Seriously? Amateur. Not knowing where to begin is for multiple upchucks on a top bunk that continue as a sickee climbs down the ladder still projectile vomiting. WITH another person on the bottom bunk. Sheesh.)
Apparently Carolyn had walked over to his side of the bed (where he had dozed off watching football) and told him (after coughing copiously all over his face and in his water glass) that she had thrown up.
RH followed her groggily into her bedroom and asked, "Where?"
She looked at him incredulously and said,
(wait for it)
"You're standing in it, Dad."
After hearing the story, I asked my sweet newly showered spouse if he still wanted me to apply at Braum's.
Can you guess the answer?