Three weeks ago this morning I sat on a couch in my sil's house with my friend Melanie (at 4 in the morning, to be specific) and tried to make some sense of what had just happened to my world.
It was a difficult task.
We hadn't slept at all, the noise of helicopters flying over was constant, my newly-turned-11 year old was sleeping on the floor with the dog in front of us, and lots of sirens were going off outside of the house.
So we gave up trying to figure things out and headed to Wal-Mart at 5:40 to buy water because apparently ours was no longer safe to drink.
To be honest, that "couch time" is one of the very few solid memories I have of that week. I hope to spend some time at the computer THIS week and figure out where those 7 days went.
It feels important to me to know when I first went back to the house, who was with me, who came over, and what we found....I am not sure WHY this matters....but I really don't like the idea that I LOST those minutes and hours.
Maybe because we've lost so many other things? Maybe that's why I care where that time went?
Who knows....but I'd like to try and find it.
In the midst of all that "fuzziness"....there are a few things that remain clear.
This is the clearest of them all....
On Monday evening we moved the 5 of us (plus dog, chinchillas, guinea pig and hermit crab) into my mother's house. She was in Atlanta during the storm and wasn't due back until mid-week.
After a few hours of sleep (hope to get that "sleeping" thing back some day...) I came downstairs Tuesday morning around 5am.
Barrett had left to check on his office, and the kids were all sacked out in my mom's spare bedroom.
I was wide awake, and decided to track down a bible and spend some time with God.
Barrett's was laying on the kitchen table (apparently he had the same thought as me), so I put it in my lap as I pulled up a stool to the island.
I wanted to find something in that bible about gratefulness...something that would touch on my thankfulness. I know that Psalms is full of wonderful poems and descriptions...but I must admit that I'm not too familiar with that book of the bible.
So, with the bible in my lap I prayed that God would show me the right thing to read that morning.
Now....I've done a lot of praying in my life. I've felt God's presence in BIG and small ways....I know that He has orchestrated many things for me....I've seen His work and His answers...and I KNOW that He's gently (and not so gently) led me in specific directions.
But...I've never actually audibly heard Him.
I did that morning.
I admit I thought I was hearing things in my too-tired-to-properly-function brain...but I turned to Psalm 116 and began to read.
When I was done, I climbed off of the stool, tears pouring down my face, and got down on my knees to thank my God.
Psalm 116: 1-9
I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.
The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord:
"O lord, save me!"
The Lord is gracious and righteous,
our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simplehearted;
when I was in great need, he
Be at rest once more, O my soul,
for the Lord has been good to you.
For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death,
my ears from tears,
my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the Lord
in the land of the living....